Saturday, April 25, 2009

Saturday

Thomas is cruising along. He is still on the breathing tube, but they've turned down the settings and decreased the amount of morphine. We're hoping that he might get extubated in the next day or two. He really seems unhappy with the tube, which I take to be a good sign. Nothing else new. His abdomen looks good. Solid scar that looks similar to an appendix scar.

I think I will also take this opportunity to give a little insight into Rebecca and her life. This is highly controversial and I will most likely let her read it first, but to some degree, this is a public service announcement. Plus, a number of people have asked both of us how the other is doing and how the marriage is holding up. I don't think I'd be going out on a limb to say that the first year of child birth is very difficult, and although our situation is unique, we may still be in for a lot worse once Thomas comes home. That being said, I really think we're both doing very well. all things considered. We lean on each other alot and we vent to each other alot, and occasionally we snap each other. For the most part though, we do pretty well. We try to make a point of finding time to get the other to relax and take their mind off things. This blog also helps immensely. I'm not the most outgoing person, so there's things that I probably wouldn't otherwise discuss without it. I highly recommend everyone get one.

So onto the many faces of Rebecca. I love her and I wouldn't change a thing about her (of course there are many things I would change, but I'll put those in a separate blog that Rebecca can't read). I'm also pretty certain any person going through what she is would have very similar attributes. I think Rebecca has handled all of this incredibly well. She is managing being a mom, running a house, holding down a job (she is back at work until Thomas comes home) and dealing with me and my various sports-related injuries. So with out further ado: We have the interrogator, the analyzer, the worrier and the doter.

The interrogator:
Probably my favorite character. Rebecca is very good at asking the right questions and finding out exactly what is going on. If not for her, this blog would be seriously devoid of facts. "Thomas is, um, good, and they're feeding him and stuff." Just doesn't really sell, does it? But the interrogator does not seek a single source for her information. Basically anyone in scrubs is a potential victim. It matters little what their specific area of expertise is, Rebecca will pepper them with every question that is on her mind, even if she's already asked 3 other people. So a respiratory specialist better be able to answer a question regarding feeding, a nurse had better be able to provide insight on the big picture for Thomas. This is very helpful. Many parents clearly don't ask enough questions up there and I think the nurses appreciate that Rebecca takes an interest. I also think I'm an abject failure in this department. On the few occasions that I have gone up by myself, the nurses will ask if I have any questions, and I don't, mostly because Rebecca has given me as good an update as they could.

The analyzer:
Rebecca spends all of her waking time thinking about Thomas (shocking). All of the information that she gathers is taken in and processed. Out spews multiple theories and possibilities that she shares with me. The one topic that gets a ton of play is who Thomas looks like. There's always a new theory about an appendage or an expression. I think Thomas looks like Thomas. I'm no fun.

The worrier:
The first two faces of Rebecca feed the worrier in Rebecca mercilessly. Again, given the situation, it would not be sane for her not to worry, but I try to fight it and placate her as much as I can so that it doesn't eat her up. She obviously is constantly worrying about Thomas' health, his weight, his settings. She also worries about her connection to Thomas. This is her biggest and most constant worry, that somehow, Thomas will not have a connection to her because Rebeeca can't spend every waking hour with him and can't be there to always hold them, that he won't recognize her as much as the nurses. I know this isn't true and I know Thomas will be following her around, right under her foot at every step in no time.

The doter:
This is when everything else melts away for Rebecca, the moment when she walks up to Thomas' bedside and he turns his head to her and opens his eyes at the sound of her voice. Its at this point, she usually knows in her heart that everything is going to be alright. Thomas is once again declared cutest baby ever and everything that we've gone through for 4 months and that day become worth it.

Its time to go to the hospital and find another unsuspecting victi...er...nurse and find out what's going on.

1 comment:

  1. Having known Rebecca for some time, I think I've seen these "faces" before, but they are what makes her who she is, and that is a wonderful person and now, a wonderful mother. You guys are both doing a great job. Rebecca, keep up the great work - "Mama always knows what's best"....I think they call it Mother's Intuition, right? So glad Thomas is doing well post-surgery, and I can't wait to hear about it in person at Leigh's wedding. Give the little guy a big squeeze from his fans, the DeFattas! love, Jennifer

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