First big decision

Well we spent most of today, probably really for the first time, trying to figure out the best thing to do for Thomas' well being. Everything up until now has been really pretty easy. "Mr. and Mrs. Elliot, we need to do such and such to keep Thomas alive." OK! let's do it. This one just wasn't that simple. At risk, Thomas' sight. Time frame: make a decision today, based on whatever information and gut instinct we can muster. In one corner we have a surgical procedure that requires a doctor to zap Thomas' eyes with a laser (there's a little more to it than that, but if I really tried to describe it, I'd get it wrong anyway). In the other corner, a brand new procedure, where the same doctor would inject a drug into Thomas' eyes (again, I'm simple, I write simple). There are significant pluses and minuses to both options. Without recounting every one of them, there is greater upside with the injections, but also greater unknown.

Basically, if we chose the injections, we'd be enrolling Thomas in a clinical study that has only been commissioned in the last 10 months. The injections appear to be more effective and less invasive. The laser potentially limits peripheral vision and can lead to myopia (extreme near-sightedness). The only problem is, no one can say if there are any other side effects or long term issues associated with the injecting the drug. That's why the study is being conducted. This could very well be the standard for addressing this issue in the near future. Complicating our decision is that Thomas does not have a strong lineage of eagle eyes on either side of his family. I'm the only person in either of our immediate families that has not had eye issues and Rebecca, at one time, was basically legally blind without the aid of very strong lenses. So we're both very sensitive to anything sight related.

Enough of the boring old facts. This is what was laid out in front of us. The doctor who would perform either option is one of the most well respected specialists in the country. He very much believes in the study. The funny thing is even if we enter the study, there's still a 50/50 chance Thomas would end up in the control group and still get the laser. This was extremely difficult for both of us. There really is no clear answer, and that really sucked. We went back and forth several times. Actually told the doctor one thing and then changed our minds several hours later. You just don't want to make a decision and then find out that its the wrong one. Its a very frustrating thing. But its also not really in our control.

This is new territory for me. When it comes to me, I'm a risk taker by nature and I would most likely opt for the riskier option with the greater upside. I also believe that things will work out, one way or the other and that it does little good agonizing over things that you can't control. Being responsible for someone else, truly responsible, where they can't speak for themselves, requires me to think completely differently.

In the end, we decided to play it safe. Its a decision that we both feel comfortable with and hopefully will sleep well tonight on. I know Rebecca is mentallyand emotionally drained by all of this. They've been using the laser for many years, and though there is certainly potential for some vision issues, the unknown was just too daunting. So, tomorrow at 11:30, they will laser Thomas' eyes. The procedure will take about an hour.