Things that I hate

I hate that surgery has to be so early in the morning that I have to wake Thomas up.
I hate that he is so trusting and happy that he doesn't fight getting into his car seat and doesn't get anxious by the familiar smells and florescents of the hospital. (My dog Charlie freaks out about any building with a linoleum floor because it means the vet, a bath or boarding, maybe one day Thomas will too).
I hate the look of shock and confusion on Thomas' face when
I'm holding him and someone sticks him with a needle to draw blood.
I hate all of the possibilities that the doctor has to disclose that could go wrong right before he takes Thomas away.

I hate the waiting room.
I hate this waiting room with a broken tv.
I really hate the Nintendo Mario Kart game that keeps playing the same song over and over and over.
I hate these chairs.
I don't hate the food in the cafeteria, but I'm not calling
Zagat's.

I hate that we have to put our lives on hold again.

I hate that we're so used to this routine that sometimes the magnitude of the situation is lost on me.
I love you Thomas. I love you Rebecca.