Monday, December 20, 2010

Twas the Week Before Christmas...

It really twas...Christmas day is 6 days away and we have a spoilage alert! Thomas is about to get bombarded with gifts from grandparents that will be beyond his comprehension or ability to fully enjoy before he outgrows them. I have been as stern and disapproving as I can be. Lots of harrumphs and eye rolls but nothing seems to work. I'm afraid that my beautiful wife is also complicit in this act of treachery. Alas, I've seen the home videos of her childhood and its written that we are doomed to repeat what we have experienced. So I will stand back and watch as Thomas spends as much time playing with ribbon and wrapping paper as what was inside them.


I will provide an update of the festivities later this week. In the meantime, I wanted to touch on a couple of things that are less humorous, but have been on my mind. The first concerns Thomas' grandfather, my dad. Let me just spoil the ending and let the reader know that this has a very happy ending, but over Thanksgiving we learned that my dad had prostate cancer. It was very sobering and scary for all of us. Fortunately prostate cancer is the kind of cancer that you want to get, if there is such a thing. My dad and his doctor were on top of things and caught it early. They went in last week and removed the cancer cells and everything looks really good.

The month that I was aware of the challenge my dad faced and the possibility that things could have turned out much worse were obviously scary. Not only for me as his son, but it brought to mind how important and impactful both of my grandfathers were on me and the possibility of Thomas missing out on spending time and learning from my dad was not a prospect I wanted to deal with. Thomas already has a natural connection with both of his grandfathers. Goes right to them and truly knows them to be something more than the large number of people that fawn over him (he is not want for attention). I am thankful that things turned out ok, because Thomas has to learn the tradition of making waffles from scratch on a random Sunday morning from my dad. Not only because its a memory I treasure, but also because my dad does the recipe from memory and by the time I get up these days, the waffles are already done. So someone needs to get that recipe for me. Best waffles in the world.

The other thing that has me bothered/thinking these days is my little brother in the big brother/little brother program. He just turned 16 and he has reached a point in his life that is truly a crossroads. He's making some really bad choices that will have far reaching consequences. For the first time in our relationship, I am finding myself acting like a parent more than a friend. Unfortunately, I can see in his eyes some of the same "you don't understand or I don't want to talk about this" look that I know I would have had at that age. He's still just a kid and I know he just wants to ignore bad things in the hopes they'll just go away or resolve themselves. The choices he has made, I've warned him against and tried to show him the opportunities and alternatives that are there for him if he wants them. There's really not much more I think I could have done, but I can't help but feel I'm failing a bit. Thomas could easily be him, sitting across from me, not wanting to look me in the eye. In just 2 years, I've seen my little brother change dramatically. In some ways, he's exactly the same, but in others obviously not. He's grown alot. Thomas, too, has grown so much. I worry about the choices that Thomas will one day be faced with and if I can properly prepare him to minimize the mistakes that he will inevitably make. Why do people sign up for this stuff?

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