Merry Christmas

Its Saturday night, the day after Christmas and things have calmed enough to try and update this darned thing that calls to me and make fun of me when I can't get to it, much like...well, just about everything that has needed to get done over the past 6 months. I'm bailing just enough to keep the boat afloat, but that's really not a great approach, because I'm afraid that eventually I may get tired and not bail as fast as I need to. Such is the life of a parent. Which always makes me wonder how a single parent pulls this off, how a parent with twins possibly pulls this off, how anyone voluntarily goes through this. But I digress.

As usual, Thomas is still the cutest, most well adjusted, happiest baby ever. Despite anything life throws at him, he just rolls with the punches.

You'll have to forgive the pictures that I choose. There are many, many cute ones to choose from, but I really like the funny ones better.

Christmas was just one big love fest, as we spent it in Shreveport with Rebecca's family and relative after relative swooped in to gain Thomas' favor. Its really nice for us, because we can just sit back and monitor hand washings, but otherwise stay hands free for the most part. Which is a very good thing, because at almost 15 pounds, he's really getting heavy. Everything was really wonderful, Thomas got more toys than he will probably be able to play with before next Christmas, Mom and I got to relax a little and Aunt Leigh got her nephew fix before she headed back to South Carolina.

My only complaint was that somehow, of all of the potential places we could have been, Shreveport, Cincinnati, Washington DC or Dallas, we managed to pick the one place that didn't get a White Christmas. There was a chance, and I spent most of Christmas Eve watching weather maps and reading forecasts in the hope that the snow would reach us, but to no avail. I love snow, get very child-like about it (which I probably do about alot of stuff come to think about it), and get my hopes up any time I'm somewhere where the temperature dips and the clouds are still around. For some reason, I always manage to be in the wrong place when it occurs. I was in Belton last year when it snowed in Dallas and missed it again. Oh well. I'm not going to pout about it (anymore).

I took some videos of Thomas' first Christmas, you can find them here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vw1kaXkRTk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgMxwQj4fqQ

Let's see, what can I catch you up on? Development-wise, Thomas is moving along. He's desperately trying to figure out a way to be mobile on his own, because we're not keeping up with him. Thomas is big on moving, especially if we try to just sit and try to take a break. That's when he starts jumping. Up and down, his legs are much stronger than his balance is ready for, so it becomes quite a workout for all parties involved. Thomas talks up a storm, although nothing truly profound or coherent yet. He's also able to show you that he's one, by extending his index finger. He also extends his thumb, so one could argue that he's brandishing a gun. But in these kinder, gentler times, we'll just say he's very excited about his upcoming birthday, which is in 7 days for those who may have forgotten.

Not to be disjointed, but I'm kind of going stream of thought here and I would be remiss not to step back and realize that it has been almost a year since Thomas demanded I start writing about him (he's quite pushy). This day last year, Rebecca was on bed rest in her parents house, although technically, she spent most of it on the couch in the living room. I'm not good on historically perspective, but I think its probably an understatement to say it doesn't feel like a year. There are aspects that seem like years ago, but at the same time, weeks disappear like days. Once again, thank you to all of you who helped us through this journey. There have been times when each of us were unsure whether we had the strength to go forward and there are many of you who have nudged us along. So thanks again and now back to Thomas and how awesome he is.

As I mentioned before, Thomas is so good natured. Rarely does he cry, and if he does, its probably for a good reason. The only occasions that he does are if he gets stuck in the car seat too long (which would be about a minute and a half for me), if he gets scared, which is tough to scare him (I keep trying, although the whole wolfman costume I keep using may end up scarring him), or if he has a nightmare, which is about the saddest thing I've ever seen. Simply holding him and calming him down is all it takes though. So, basically, if it wasn't for the whole prematurity thing and all that came along with it, we'd have the child that every other parent would envy and hate.

You may have noticed that Thomas has glasses in some pictures, but for the most part, he doesn't wear them. Simple explanation, they're reading glasses. Took us a few weeks to realize that he can't read and that he was mostly just looking at the pictures. Actually, Thomas is wearing contacts now. I know...isn't that just the nuttiest thing you've ever heard? We did alot of research on this. Some doctors are more in favor it than others. Basically the pro is, unlike glasses, with the contacts, you can quickly adjust the strength of the lenses to accurately reflect what a baby Thomas' age should be seeing, which is really about 5 feet away. The glasses just fully correct his vision based on Thomas' near sightedness. The theory is that the eyes can strengthen a little better with the contacts and stave off the near sightedness longer. Of course there is a challenge that arises and is probably obvious to everyone, what color lenses do you get to accentuate his boyish good looks?

There's also a secondary issue, how to get a baby to lay still and allow his eye lids to be pried open and a large finger apply a foreign object onto his eyeball. Surprisingly, its fairly difficult. It takes 2 people, alot of patience, some delicate leverage and...well its just really hard. He also doesn't know that he's not supposed to rub his eyes once they are in.

There's much more to write, but I'm saving it for other posts. So if you're still out there, check back.

Thanksgiving one year later.

A year ago today we found out that Thomas was a boy. It's been a year that neither one of us could have imagined. We have everything to be thankful for. So to each of you that has prayed for Thomas and followed us and kept up, thank you. There is much to catch everyone up on, but today I will just say everyone is doing well and we are blessed and happy.

Love Mike, Rebecca and Thomas

Another Day Another Surgery

As always, there is much to catch everyone up on. I will leave the title hanging for a moment as it fits within the context of the storyline later on. First I will give you a week's retrospective on Rebecca's triumphant return to the real world. Hence the picture to the left.

Rebecca has been fortunate enough to spend the summer with Thomas. It has been very important for her and for Thomas, as Rebecca has really struggled with the pregnancy ending early and being separated from Thomas while he was in the NICU. She worries alot about her connection with Thomas, but I see it every time she holds him, how he knows who he's with. There's a wonderful calmness that comes over him when she's walking him around on her shoulder and he's looking back chewing on her shirt. Its a tough thing as I'm not in a position to really understand. Rebecca feels like she missed something, and although we've been given an amazing gift, and even what I like to call bonus time with Thomas, its not the same and can be a little overwhelming. Rebecca often finds herself reliving the NICU and the surgeries and all of the doctor visits, therapy sessions. Its alot to deal with. I don't know if its a gift or not, but I just accept what it all is and where we are and try to move on. Look forward, not back and all that stuff. For me, I can easily get overwhelmed by the present and future, so maybe I have selectively blocked out the past. It already feels like ages ago. Its all really a blur.

We both knew that Rebecca would have to go back to work, unfortunately Thomas being on Rebecca's insurance. The original plan and thought was that Rebecca would want to go back to work under normal circumstances. She didn't originally picture herself as a stay-at-home mom. Now that it isn't quite the same situation, it has left her torn to say the least. She was supposed to start 2 weeks ago, but due to the original false starts on the nanny front that I will get into in a future post, she pushed back to last week, so that we could find the right nanny, which I am glad to say we have. Because of Thomas' immune system, day care is not an option. We had this grand plan to have Rebecca spend a few weeks with the nanny, break her in and get a comfort level all the way around. With the compressed schedule, Rebecca got 1 day and then I planned to stay in town and play Mr. Mom while the nanny got adjusted.

My part was easy. As Rebecca's apprentice, I knew the gist of the routine, although I am a poor substitute for the master and my mistakes are easily identified in our nightly reviews of my performance. Additionally, my job has taken me away every week, so I was always used to being away from Thomas. Not so much for Rebecca. Her breaks have been few and far between. So the night before her first day back to work was fairly rough. She didn't sleep much, cried a lot and worried greatly about Thomas. I think it was a little easier knowing that I was home, and as I said before, we've found a nanny that has connected well with Thomas and approaches Rebecca's exacting standards. It has been challenging for Rebecca actually getting to do her job. For some reason none of the people in her office want to talk about eye products... Rebecca is slowly adjusting and she maximizes her time with Thomas in the morning and at night.

I found last week fairly interesting and difficult in a different way. Monday was just Thomas and me, so it was all potato chips and 80s teen movies for us all day. Kathy (I guess its fair to refer to her by her name rather than a nebulous title) started Tuesday, and as I said, she's great with Thomas. He really responds to her well, she's doing the exercises that the therapists want and Thomas has made amazing strides in one week. So we're very pleases. I was working from home, so I was really there just to guide and answer questions. What was really difficult was letting Kathy handle things when Thomas got upset or needed attention. It was very difficult to suppress my instinct to take care of my son, to allow Kathy to do her job. It was so difficult in fact, that I had to, at times, find things to do away from the house. It was just unimaginably harder not to scoop Thomas up and hold him than I could imagine. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that, but we'll see.

So what does any of this have to do with the title of this blog entry? Nothing really, I had wanted to write about the stuff above, so I just squeezed it in. So, yes, it does look like Thomas will be getting another scar. I know I'd mentioned Thomas' hemangioma on his bottom, which is healing extremely well and we don't anticipate any more laser treatments. I think I had also mentioned that Thomas had a dimple at the base of his spine. We noticed it while treating the hemangioma and brought it to the attention of the doctor. It kind of looks like the skin on his bottom was fused together a little. The doctor said that a dimple such as that could also be an indication of a tethered spinal cord. So we scheduled Thomas for an MRI, which we took him to get a week ago last Saturday. That in itself had its own little trauma, because they had to put Thomas under, which makes Rebecca very nervous. You can tell a baby as much you'd like that they can't move for an hour, but they rarely listen. So another trip to Children's hospital at o'dark a.m. Thomas did very well, came out of the MRI hungry and a little cranky and then chose not to sleep for the rest of the day.

We had hoped to get the MRI results some time last week, but no luck. We knew however that we would get them yesterday when I took Thomas to the pediatrician for his check up and immunization shots. Thomas had to get shots in both legs, which he was none too pleased about, but handled very well. He only cried for a second on each one. They were also very pleased with his growth. He's 23 inches and 12 pounds, 11.5 ounces. We've even gotten the ok to start introducing rice cereal to his diet. The doctor also came back with the MRI results at the end of our visit and let me know that Thomas does have a tethered spinal cord. Basically (and this is EXTREMELY basic, because I don't totally understand it, A spinal cord should be free at the base, but sometimes, especially in Preemies, it becomes attached to something. This can cause many issues if left untreated, including muscle weakness in the legs and orthopedic issues. Because it is the spinal cord we're dealing with, a neurosurgeon must perform the operation. We haven't met with one yet, so we don't know what exactly is involved in the surgery, what the risks are or when its going to happen.

I'd like to say that by now we're both used to this stuff, but the truth is we're not. The pediatrician said that she has seen this condition alot, so hopefully the procedure is routine. It is very distracting though. You would never know it by looking at Thomas what all he has been through. He is so lively, happy and laid back. He loves playing and laughing and he's learning to sit up. I'll post some pics and videos when I can.

Spinning the topic wheel for the first time...

Round and round it goes, tick, tick, tick, tick, the topics whirl around, tick, tick, tick, tick (I'm building anticipation and excitement so that the reader will want to see how this turns out. Its a literary tool.) And our topic today is..."Doctor My Eyes". Awesome, I've got alot to say about Jackson Browne, been wanting to blog about him for years.

Jackson Browne, who's first name is actually Clyde, was born October 9, 1948. He is an American rock singer-songwriter and musician. His political interest and personal angst have been central to his career, resulting in popular songs such as "Somebody's Baby", "These Days", "The Pretender" and "Running On Empty". In 2004, Browne was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by fellow American musical artist and good friend, Bruce Springsteen. During the same year, Browne received an honorary Doctorate of Music from Los Angeles' Occidental College for "a remarkable musical career that has successfully combined an intensely personal artistry with a broader vision of social change and justice"....

Wait, no, I was going somewhere else with that topic. I apologize for all of the confusion. What I actually wanted to talk about was Thomas' eyes. I know, I know, another blog entry about Thomas, I'm in a rut. I'll revisit Jackson Browne in the future. Anyway, Thomas' eyes have been a constant source of angst and concern in the Elliot household. Let me catch you up on what has progressed.

I think even before Thomas decided to enter this world early, he wasn't playing with a full deck in the eye sight gene pool. Rebecca is legally blind (yup, that's how I got her) and everyone in both of our families has some form of 4 eyes syndrome. I'm the lone anomaly. I laugh at eye charts and read the manufacturer at the bottom just to show off. Thomas' time in the NICU and on ventilation led us to the tough decision about ROP surgery, which I documented here. Just as a refresher, preemies that spend a significant amount of time on ventilation grow an overabundance of blood vessels in their eyes due to the oxygen. This leads to a significant risk of retinal detachment. ROP surgery takes care of those blood vessels, but can have its own side effects, including limited peripheral vision and vision loss. I also documented our follow up visit to see how the surgery went and that we got an A-OK, but that particular doctor was only judging mechanics and we would need to go to a second eye doctor to see what Thomas could see. All along the way, there were mixed signals about how is eyes were. Many nurses and therapists commented on how well his eyes were tracking (following objects). On the other hand, we could never get Thomas to look at us when we were holding him. I felt like one of Donald Trump’s servants, completely invisible. So, time came to go to the Ophthalmologist, which is different than an optometrist in a way that Rebecca could tell you for hours on end, but it’s not really germane to our story so I won’t bog.

So the set up was another examining room, the doctor had Rebecca sit in the examining chair with Thomas sitting in her lap. The lights go out, the doctor sits on a stool in front of Thomas and the assistant or nurse stands behind him. I sit in a chair against the wall, observing. The lights go out and goofiness begins. So Rebecca is holding him, the doctor is leaning in looking through one of those things that shine a light in your eye and the nurse is holding one of those multi-colored lighted pinwheels they sell at the circus. So for the next 15 minutes, the doctor would hold up different combinations of lenses to each of Thomas' eyes while the nurse spun the pinwheel and attempted to get Thomas' attention. Seemed really goofy to me, but I didn't go to school for this stuff. In the end, the doctor gave his assessment.

He believed that based on him looking through lenses into Thomas' eyes that Thomas is extremely near sighted, to the tune of -7 in one eye and - 9 in the other. Rebecca's eyes were -10 before she got lasered just to give you the blindness reference point. Basically, he believed that Thomas could see about a foot in front of him, everything else would be a blur. This took Rebecca and I completely by surprise. My immediate thought was, how can you possibly tell that by looking through lenses at a baby who certainly isn't capable of reading an eye chart or telling us what he can see. The doctor assured us that he's usually pretty good at this (cocky) and that the logical next step would be glasses. Not in a few years, but right away. He then shared with us a pamphlet with pictures of babies and little children wearing the most god-awful glasses I've ever seen. They were all round, pastel and just plain not cool. Apparently for babies, the glasses need to be flexible, which I'm ok with and ugly, which escapes logic with me.

Much like the multitude of other times that a medical professional shared with us difficult information, we took it in with a bit of numbness and tried to be as factual as possible in our questioning. The important thing is to get his eyes help sooner than later so that Thomas' development isn't stumped. Laser surgery is not an option until the growth in his eyes stops growing, which is typically in a child's teens. The doctor also saw a slight nystagmus, which is an involuntary movement of the eyes, kind of like they dance back and forth. I believe this is related to weak eye muscles which would also be helped by glasses.

Not wanting to believe what was probably true, we chose to wait til after our impending visit to the Retina Foundation. Because Thomas is a preemie, this was another "perk" that he gets. We weren't exactly sure what this was about, but looked at it as a possible second opinion on the condition of Thomas' eyes. It was a couple weeks after the appointment, so we spent most of that time staring at Thomas' eyes, wondering if he could see us. It was very disheartening and frustrating. After all we had gone through, we had thought that we'd cleared all of the hurdles and were home free. Thomas seemed blissfully unaware and happy.

The Retina Foundation can be found in a non-descript office building. Much of the furniture seemed semi-mismatched, possibly donated. It did not have the same feel of success that the offices of all of the other specialists we had visited had. We started out with the requisite paperwork that comes with each new visit. Rebecca is in charge of this, while Thomas and I find ways to be entertained. From there, we were led into another waiting room. This is where we learned a little about the Retina Foundation. Basically, its a study, government funded I assume, around vision in babies. Most of the doctors participating in the study were actually PHDs rather than MDs. The test was fairly odd. Rebecca and Thomas sat at a table and a very clinically focused lady sat across from her. Although the study is focused on babies, she clearly didn't have alot of experience with or interest in babies as anything other than test subjects. In front of the lady were a stack of hard backed posters. On each poster, there were 2 squares, one of which would have vertical lines on it. Depending on the poster, the lines were either very broad decreasing down to so narrow it was difficult for me to discern. The whole concept was that a baby's eyes would be attracted to the vertical lines and they were testing Thomas' ability to track to those vertical lines. To make things more interesting, they put a patch over one eye, and tested each eye separately. So the lady would flash a card, Thomas would look at the poster and when she saw that he looked at the right area, she would say good, tell her assistant some code and go to the next card. To keep Thomas looking the general direction of the cards, she had a little device that would play music very loudly, over and over.

I found the whole thing kind of silly. Mostly because Thomas looks all around naturally, eventually he's going to look one way or the other. They repeated cards to minimize blind luck (no pun intended), but it still seemed circumstantial and anecdotal at best. After pushing Thomas' patience, we were thanked for our time. In relation to the tests, Thomas did extremely well and tested in the top percentiles within the study. The results go to the Opthamologist, but basically it was not really the second opinion we hoped for. So we're back to where we started and have resigned ourselves to getting Thomas glasses, but I intend to make them very cool, skull and crossbones cool! We go back to the doctor in October to get Thomas sized up. Rebecca has also reached out to her colleagues in the optometry world who have given her reassurance that technology is progressing really well and that Thomas should be able to see and function just like anyone else.

Its still rough. We spend alot of time worrying about Thomas' eyes. I want him to have every opportunity, just like any parent would and it feels like a real possibility that Thomas will struggle learning or not be able to participate in a sport or something. It weighs on both of us and the unknown is scary. Thomas is just darn near perfect and we really don't want to see him go through anything else. I think he's had enough.

Until next time I spin the wheel...

Topic Teaser

Since we're all settling back in to this blog thing, I have multiple subjects that I would like to address that we can all look forward to. So we'll break out the topic wheel and spin away. Here are the titles, as revealed by Alex Trabek:

• Doctor my eyes
• Nap time for Thomas
• Potent Potables
• Nanny-cam
• How many grades will Thomas be skipping
• A Day in the Life
• Thomas' First Word
• States that begin with the letter A

And I have found proof that Thomas is ticklish...

Happy 8th month Birthday to Thomas

I'm going to just pretend that I did a blog yesterday and not a month ago and just move on as if nothing has happened. (They skipped like 10 years in the Lion King and noone seemed too worried about it.)

One thing I never want to hear when I'm out of town is Rebecca crying on the other end of the phone. Unfortunately, it happens sometimes. Each time I must establish that nothing is wrong with Thomas (a constant, unreasonable fear that I assume everyone probably has). If this was a movie I was directing, I'd insert a flashback scene to fill in the gaps and bring us up to speed on how we got here. In a blog, trying to properly quantify what Rebecca is feeling and why without writing an essay may be difficult, so I'll just try to hit the highlights.

Rebecca has to go back to work soon and we have begun the process of trying to identify someone to entrust with Thomas, without our supervision, a near impossible concept for Rebecca. We've tested the waters and the results have been mixed at best. I won't get into details at this time, maybe when time passes. The long and the short of it is that sometimes the porridge is too hot and sometimes it just tastes like dirt. So we're looking and hoping to find a Rebecca clone.

As the day closes in that Rebecca has to return to work, she has really struggled with everything we have gone through. It has gotten a little overwhelming to her just thinking about the journey, even through we appear to be through the worst of it. On top of that, the feeling that she wants and needs to be with Thomas is really pulling on her.

Everything is new and different. Our lives have settled into somewhat of a routine, although its nothing like either of us expected, or at times want. Responsibility has never been something I've aspired to and you'd be shocked at how much responsibility there is when it comes to a baby! I mean, its like constant. I can safely say that Thomas is the cutest darn thing in the world and much like playing golf where 18 holes of suffering are all washed away by an approach shot that lands on the green where you wanted it to go, even if you have know idea how you put it there, a single facial expression, giggle or movement from Thomas makes everything that happened up til then a distant memory. I mean really, how do you deny this child anything?


Before I go any further, I've posted a bunch of videos on youtube for your enjoyment. http://www.youtube.com/results?uploaded=m&search_query=melliot22&search_type=videos. Look for the most recent ones.

Thomas is 8 months old today, he weighs 11 pounds, 9 ounces and is about 22 inches long. Overall the doctors are all very pleased with his progress. He's on track for a 4 1/2 month baby, which is where they want him to be. He's laughing and making lots of noises, very ticklish and starting to really grow a personality.

Since I've last talked to you, we've been to an eye doctor, the retina foundation, the plastic surgeon, the pediatrician twice and a physical therapist. We've also begun ECI sessions in our house, where a therapist comes for an hour 3 times a month to work with Thomas to make sure he's develops his motor skills. Since its very late. I'm going to post this and I will come back shortly to tell you the stories of each of our doctor visits. There are some unique stories to be told. There are some medical things to addressed as well. I will cover them shortly.

Sorry this one wasn't terribly exciting or informative. Just needed to start somewhere.

Have I Lost My Audience?

So, I've done a very poor job. I'm here today to make amends. I will offer excuses and reasoning as to why I haven't updated. I will pull on your heartstrings to gain sympathy and promise to turn over a new leaf. Then I will probably slip again. just warning you. Part of it is that I want to update the blog, but I want to have time to do it well, call it pride or conceitedness. You can also chalk it up to fitting 10 pounds of sand into a 5 pound bag. Thomas is a time sucker. Plus I misplaced him for about a week and a half and I really didn't want to post that, I just think some people might get a bad impression.

Its Thursday night, about 3 weeks since I last wrote and I'm sitting in my living room, watching some soccer, relaxing. My faithful dog, Charlie, is at my feet. Its quiet, too quiet. It seems like forever since I've done this. Haven't felt like there was something looming, an impending event that I must be at the ready for. No need to keep my wits about me or decide what to do based on a schedule that has been laid out that limits you to an hour or two. So how is it that I'm without worry or care and able to be blogging?

My lovely bride (inside joke) and cutest son in the world are in Shreveport being pampered by an untold number of immediate and distant family members. They've been there since Tuesday, forced to flee Dallas because I was going to be out of town, and frankly Thomas is too much to handle for one person for more than 8 hours at a time. Not that Thomas is in anyway a problem child, or either of us incapable of handling parenthood (the jury is still out, but I'm confident we'll get a favorable ruling), but because Thomas is not ready to face the world and all of the associated germs, he is mostly home bound and therefore so is one of us. Being trapped in the house for extended periods of time, especially multiple days, is just too tough from a sanity standpoint. Fortunately, Rebecca's mom and my mom have been able to swoop in during the week to help out, but this week, that wasn't an option, so Rebecca loaded up every imaginable baby rearing object and Thomas made his first road trip. From all accounts, its been a roaring success. Thomas is a social butterfly and absolutely thrives on attention and lots of people around him. Rebecca thrives on not having complete responsibility for a little while. Its been win-win.

So, having gotten back into town tonight, I find myself alone. It is bliss, I must be honest. The last 6 weeks have been a trial. Limited sleep and even more limited freedom have tested Rebecca and me. I have discovered that I'm a much more selfish person than I thought. Giving up the things that make me happy has made me less happy. I'm disappointed in myself because Rebecca does accommodate my need to get out and exercise, but I find myself still wanting more. I sometimes feel like one of the kids staring out the window from the Cat in the Hat cartoon, only the Cat has yet to show up and outside my window, instead of rain, there is nothing but sunshine and people having the time of their lives. That is an adjustment that everyone who's been through this speaks about, but they really don't do a good enough job of grabbing your shoulders, staring into your eyes and telling you: " For the next 4 months, everything that seems like fun or was part of your day to day routine is gone, forget about it." Rebecca and I have talked about it, our conclusion is that moms have selective memories (otherwise there would probably be alot more families with only 1 child) and dads just keep their mouth shut so that other men join their ranks for commiseration.

I think I've sufficiently laid out a case for sympathy. And I wouldn't trade it in for anything. Of course there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that obnoxiously cute child that continually does really cool things that only parents can truly appreciate. Not to say that other people don't like seeing a child discovering the world, but its amazing the seemingly innocuous movements or normally unappealing bodily functions that get us excited.

The one thing that Rebecca and I both marvel at is how our moms possibly pulled off raising us.

Thomas is over 8 and a half pounds and at least 21 inches long as of last check (2 weeks ago). He is developing some meaty legs and getting some fat rolls. So things are progressing nicely. Since my last post, we've been to a doctor of some sort 4 times. Here's a retrospective of a couple of them.

Last Monday afternoon:

We're sitting in another doctor's office, because that's what we like to do for fun, waiting. Today is the eye exam to make sure Thomas' eyes are progressing from the laser surgery. This is something neither of us is looking forward to. Examining a baby's eyes is not a delicate process. The nurse has brought Thomas into the examining room once already to dilate his eyes. We're back in the examining room and we're now applying drops to numb his eyes. Its been a bout 2 hours, so we eagerly await our 5 minutes with the doctor and he doesn't disappoint. "Hello, Hello, good to see you again, let's get started." The nurse swaddles Thomas and gets into a modified 2 point stance to hold him down. The doctor puts on a headgear that looks alot like night vision goggles, and as if to verify my perception, turns out the lights. The head gear has a flashlight of sorts and the examination begins. The tricky part of examining a baby's eyes using a bright light, is keeping them open, which they do with a wire device that looks like an unfolded paper clip. it looks very uncomfortable, and Thomas lets us know that it is. Very tough to sit and watch, but its over quickly and we get a clean bill of health. The doctor hasn't verified whether Thomas can see or well he can see, unfortunately we have to go to a different specialist for that. But things have healed from the surgery.

2 weeks ago Sunday

Its 7:00 in the evening and we've had a couple less than stellar days feeding Thomas. He's uncomfortable, fussy and generally not into taking his bottle. Rebecca has placed a call to the weekend nurse. Her determination is that we go to the emergency room at Children's. I know Thomas is not sick, that he probably has acid reflux or something, but the nurse is insistent that we not take any chances. So we pack up and head to the hospital, as the dinner I was about to cook sits idly by. We arrive and Rebecca checks us in and secures the area. She is not about to let Thomas get exposed to a sick baby in the ER and is able to work us into an area by ourselves. We spend time wondering if we've done something to cause us to be in this situation. We eventually get into an examining room and meet with the doctor. Based on the symptoms and the fact that Thomas had bowel surgery, they want to take an xray of his abdomen to make sure the bowel had not telescoped onto itself. First they need to draw some blood. The doctors and nurses are very nice and offer us 7 up and Gatorade, which we happily take, since its after 9 now and we still haven't eaten. The nurse comes in to do a heel stick. This entails pricking Thomas' heel and squeezing drop by drop, enough blood to fill a tiny vial. The process takes about 20 minutes, but Thomas handles it well. Thomas is consistently laid back and good natured at all these doctor visits. There will be a day he will probably hate the doctor's office, but for now, he couldn't be a better baby. We now move on to the x ray. The nurse and I don lead coats and I grab Thomas' legs and her his arms. We stretch him out and click... The doctor comes back in and after 4 hours of emergency room, we have learned...Thomas is constipated. The doctor recommends a suppository, things work themselves out and I begin cooking dinner at 11:30.

June 30 update

Week 3 and we're starting to get a little rhythm and alot tired. We're now entering an interesting time in the blog where I have to discuss and share our parenting approach, which I'm sure will open us up to scrutiny and judgement by parents, but at the same time will hopefully provide a guide for those of you who may wish to some day give up sleep, personal freedom and spontaneity. So here's a couple tips we've learned that have helped us.

Tip #1: Night feedings and sleep. This has been a tough one. Thomas needs to eat constantly, but I also need my beauty sleep. So I came up with a simple solution that kills a couple birds with one stone. What I do is put Thomas in the crib and then put a bucket of KFC chicken in the crib with him. This way, when Thomas gets hungry in the night, he can follow the delicious smell of 11 herbs and spices to food and we can sleep through the night. Whatever is left over becomes breakfast for us. Now, right now, because Thomas has no teeth and his hands are small, I usually find him just sucking on a drumstick, but last night he did manage to pull out a breast and use it as a pillow. I call that progress.

Tip #2: Bath time. Thomas isn't crazy about baths. Its cold and traumatic, plus Rebecca always seems to want to do it when there's something on t.v. Again, I came up with a multi-tasking stroke of genius. I smothered Thomas with jelly and then set him down in front of our dog, Charlie. Charlie cleans Thomas, Charlie gets fed, problem solved. If you employ this tactic, be sure to cover your child head to toe, that way you can see if your dog misses a spot.

As we go along, I'll share more parenting tips. Next week, incorporating your child into your work out as a free weight.

This week is multiple doctor visit week. Monday, we took Thomas to see a plastic surgeon to look at his hemangioma on his bottom. The doctor was at Children's Hospital. We'd never been there before, but it was really nice. Lots of warm colors, soft lines, natural light, very un-hospital. It it weren't for all of the kids running around, it would have been great.

We arrived at the scheduled time of 10 am, only to be informed that the doctor was running an hour and a half behind. Rebecca immediately went into calculating mode and realized that we didn't have food to cover an extended visit (and I didn't see a KFC anywhere). The receptionist assured us that we would be out of there by noon. That seemed very odd, given that best case we wouldn't get into an examining room til 11:30. Sure enough, in a blink of an eye (after an hour or so in the waiting room) we were whisked into a room, the doctor swooped in, made a diagnosis based on information we could have given him over the phone or in an email and we were spit out the other end. It was alot like going on a ride at an amusement park. You stand in line for ever for 30 seconds. Doesn't seem worth it.

Oh well, the long and the short of it is that they are going to laser the hemangioma, starting Thursday, which will be doctor visit #3 for the week. #2 will be tomorrow, just the normal check up. The doctor thinks it will take 3 to 4 treatments. Hopefully this will not be too painful for him.

Thomas really seems to enjoy the visits to the outside world. He is always in such a good mood at the doctor's office, no fussiness, just wide eyed and laid back, taking it all in. Once we get home though, he's thrown off for at least a day. He doesn't eat as well or sleep normally and is generally unhappy. The only thing I can figure is that after all of the new sites and interesting new people, he finds Rebecca and me to be a big let down.

Finally, Rebecca took Thomas on his first stroller ride outside today. He's not fond of the bright lights and kept his eyes closed most of the time, but seemed to enjoy himself.

Quite a cliff hanger

My sincerest apologies for the delay in an update. Who knew parenting was time consuming? I mean really, how about a little insight?

I've been meaning to update and have stuff to share, time just slips away. My mom reminded me how I had left the last blog entry at the doctor's office without any resolution and that's a little unfair. Thomas is exhibiting the ability to climb walls, shoot a web-like substance from his wrists and has a sixth sense, kind of like a spider. The doctor says that's all pretty normal.

I will sum that one up by saying the appointment was short and sweet. The doctor was pleased with how well the first weekend went. So let me fill you in on the 7 days that have followed.

We're into our second week of self sufficiency, learning the nuances of non-verbal communication, between us and Thomas and each other. Its very important I think to pick up cues that anyone of the 3 of us has reached a melting point. With Rebecca and me, its easier to identify than with Thomas and I think we are doing pretty darned good. We're supporting each other pretty well and doing our best to share all of the responsibilities. Basically, Rebecca takes care of Thomas and I go out drinking with the boys after my shift is over at the factory. Thomas is extremely good natured and doesn't get to fussy that much. When he does, there really are 4 main culprits: hunger, gas, a dirty diaper or most importantly a lost pacifier. He hates that last one and will really let you know quick. Rebecca and I, with the timely help of her mom and my mom, have managed to get a decent system down that allows us to trade off feedings and get semi-short, if not completely restful sleep.

Oh, I guess the vitals are important. Thomas weighs 7 pounds, 2 ounces and is taking about 2 to 3 ounces every 3 to 4 hours. He's doing really well. The ulcer is about the same, we'll be going to a plastic surgeon to see what can be done.

The feedings pretty much rule our lives at the moment. I don't even think about night and day, or normal milestones of the day. Its all about those 3 hour windows and what might happen. Will he sleep, does he want to interact, or will he be fussy? The fussy times are obviously the most challenging. Its tough to get anything done and you just feel awful for him, especially if you can't figure out what's wrong. This too will pass.

Father's Day was great, you know, because I got stuff and who doesn't like another day for gifts. It was obviously a little more meaningful than that. I actually spent Father's day watching soccer and recovering from a race that Rebecca and Thomas allowed me to do in Little Rock, Arkansas the day before. I had planned to do this race, an off road tri, a few months ago thinking that Thomas would have been home long before and things would be somewhat settled. Little did we know that Thomas would show up race week. Training was a little haphazard leading up to the race anyway, between travel and hospital visits, and a week of late hour feedings wasn't optimum either. The toughest thing was skipping out for 2 days and leaving Rebecca and Thomas. Fortunately, Rebecca's mom was there to help. The race was very hot and difficult. It sounds a little corny, but if I started to run out of energy, I would just picture Rebecca holding Thomas and both of them looking at me. It gave me a boost and I was able to keep going, although I will admit on the last leg, the run, it got a little tough to get the image clear in my head (it was really hot).

So we're cruising along. I will do a better job of updating going forward.

First Field Trip

Today is Thomas' first check up with the pediatrician. We're sitting in the waiting room for our 2:00 appointment. Its now 2:40, but I'm sure we'll be getting in at any moment. Its been a bit of a reunion, as 2 of Thomas' roommates from the NICU, Jonathan and Victor, have also shown up for their first appointment. They were scheduled for 2:15 and 2:30 (so apparently these appointments will only take 15 minutes...). They had both been discharged as well last week. We all made the rookie mistake of going into the wrong waiting room. The pediatric office has a "sick" waiting room and a "well" waiting room so that babies that aren't sick don't get exposed to the ones that are. The waiting rooms aren't labeled, so I guess you're just supposed to know. Since we're all well, and there were no sick babies, and the well waiting room was packed, they let us stay. Unfortunately, a sick patient showed up, so we all just had to move to the well waiting room. The waiting room appears to have been designed with only preemies in mind. It fits probably 2 to 3 families, semi-comfortably. We have 5 families in here, consisting of 8 adults and 7 children. I'm sitting on the linoleum. Its cold and I can't stretch my legs out. It reminds of going through Fraternity pledging, only not as much fun. Rebecca just went to the bathroom to change Thomas and its bigger than the waiting room. I may move into there. (she also realized she forgot diapers in the diaper bag and we had to bum one off of another mom. Highly embarrassing. I mean, its a diaper bag! Hello! We will review her preparation skills when we get home, but rest assured, she's never going to be in charge of packing for a camping trip.)

Prior to being kicked out of the sick side, we were in there with fraternal twins who I think were a couple years old. The nurse came to get them and you would have thought the boy had seen a ghost or was being led to his impending doom. He clearly recognized the nurse and had no interest in what she had to offer, despite her promise of not having a needle.

Its now 3:00.

When we left the house, we pulled out of the alley and up to the stop light. The car behind us was not paying attention, going fast and nearly ran up on me. Before I knew it, Rebecca was out of the car and letting what I suspect was a startled young girl that we had a new born in the car. I believe I will go invest in a Baby on Board sign right away so that Rebecca doesn't have to personally deliver the message anymore.

Catch up on the last few days. Rebecca's mom came in on Sunday, which has been a much needed relief. We've worked her into the rotation, so we're getting some sleep, but not as much as we liked. Thomas has continued to do well. He hates a dirty diaper, which is about the only time he gets fussy. The only drawback of Rebecca's mom being here is it puts my little game to the test. As kind of a joke, I intentionally avoided using the names of her parents when speaking to them. I've managed to keep it up for a few years now, although I had to break my streak with her dad during the initial crisis with Rebecca's pregnancy (hardly fair, but rules are rules). So with all of the help and support she's giving us and the interaction, its difficult to continue the streak, but I'm still going, just like Cal Ripken. Anyway, thank you so much for everything unnamed mother of my wife.

Its 3:15 and we're in! I'll update how it went later.